I’d like to take a coffee-break from all the continuous and very consistent fun we’ve all been having to talk about feelings. And people. And people’s feelings.
Throughout my life there are a lot of things I’ve noticed. I’ve noticed that Gloria Estefan can work into any conversation. I’ve noticed that pandas are actually very lazy; don’t have many babies and natural selection-y speaking they don’t deserve to be on this planet any more. I’ve noticed that there are more Disney-obsessed people out there than you’d think. And I’ve also noticed that people are selfish and insecure.
Chapter one: Why people are insecure and selfish. Let me give you a personal example.
I’m what you’d a call a funny guy. Not Ellen-DeGeneres-funny, not even Jennifer-Aniston-funny but that’s what I do. I make people laugh. I’m also a lot like Patrick from the Perks of Being a Wallflower. I don’t like to talk about serious stuff a lot.
Now, what I’ve noticed is that people never take you seriously unless you’re a what I call an “attention whore” when it comes to serious stuff. You know these people and it’s about them I’m gonna talk about. It’s that one person who always says the most cliché things when someone’s sad, stuff that everyone knows and treats the situation like it’s an in-progress gang rape. They put their serious face on and want everyone to do the same. I also call them “drama queens of the sad train” and “unnecessary mood killers”(or “killed mood accentuaters” – it’s a thing).
As you can probably tell, I’m not like that. I don’t like to say fake things that everyone can and are as expected as a “bless you” after a sneeze. I like to just be there and say what the other person needs or has to hear. People are not stupid. They don’t think it’s gonna be OK. They don’t believe they’ll get through it as “time goes by”. So I don’t say that crap.
Now, as I mentioned people never take me seriously. At school I was never elected as anything because people didn’t think I could accomplish anything. People feel the need to warn me when someone’s sad so that I don’t make jokes. What does this all have to do with insecurity?!
As I see it people see a good sense of humor and kindness as weakness. As something unreliable and they feel the need to put you down for having them, but you know that’s not true. You know you could console someone in a way that’s more intimate and true than anyone who feels they need to wear black and start crying with them. It’s just that people want to feel good about themselves. They want to feel that they’re better than you and they want to be the ones getting the sad person’s attention. “You’re the comic relief character that I go to when I want to goof around, now let me handle the serious stuff. There there honey it’s all gonna be OK…. What are YOU still doing here? Don’t you have a joke to tell?! Somewhere else?!”
It’s a rich blend of insecurity mixed with self-gratification and a topping of lack of faith in other people, but that can’t hold a candle to how much people want to feel superior and noticed. Not-in-the-least.
Obviously I’m talking about grief. Never in my life has a sad person sought comfort from me or has entrusted me with anything more than “look at this hello kitty picture and how weirdly it’s dressed”.
I like to treat sadness with laughter, companionship and friendship and assuring people that no matter what crap is going on with them,I’ll always be something stable in their life. If you’re like me and people can’t appreciate you then know this: It’s not your problem. It’s their fault for wanting to have as much drama in their life as humanly possible and there’s not much you can do to show them otherwise, other than your life’s example.
I hope you can understand my train of thought that’s bouncing all over. I will see you when I have something to talk about.
Song of the day: Huey Lewis & The News – “Workin’ For A Livin'” on the same note: Dolly Parton: “9 to 5”
Quote of the day: “I just have a lot of feelings. I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles that we’d all eat and be happy…!” From Tina Fey.